Life of no regrets

Sick

2009-12-26T00:02:00.002+08:00

Still sick. having a very very bad sore throat. ouch! its mins pass xmas. Last thursday, had xmas lunch at meritus orchard. Buffet lunch, company lunch, was totally awsome! How i wish i wasnt sick at that point of time! hai. Everyone else were enjoying. It was awsome and fun company outing i guess! Next up is blessing on the new vessel crown fortune i guess or new year lunch? hmm

Xmas has passed, yet still lonely.

sick

2009-12-21T14:44:00.002+08:00

Once again, sick. This time was high fever. it reached 38.9. Had flu cough aches and more. It was super uncomfortable. The whole of last week was at KL for bowling. Had fever at KL too. Did take panadol , but seems helpless. reached Singapore at about 11pm, was then sent to Thomson Medical Centre. Was asked to rest for two days, if still at high fever, suspect that it was dengue fever. It was really a terrible day. However the days at KL was fun. Knew lots of friends and even got closer to people i hardly knew. Everything else was fun, except the fever.

Hmm meaningful day

2009-12-09T22:45:00.002+08:00

Today, i was asked to research on Carriage of Jet Fuel A1. Checked up the net, read books and all. Spent the whole day trying to find information. Through all this i learn what is ISO tanks, IMO class, UN number and T1~T22, the different types of grade of tanks. Quite a fruitful day for me. Facebook had this wonderful game! Its called Kingdoms of camelot, must try! Dam fun. haha. Was ask if i wanted to continue to work after graduate in this company. Many diff thoughts flash through my mind. I guess i really need advice from someone.

My dog!

2009-12-06T22:35:00.003+08:00

Hmm busy day. Went for two lunch appointment, one is wedding, other is baby's one month old celebration. Traffic was busy! Drive till really angry. ha. Feel like bowling today but no chance to. Nothing much happen today. was just a normal day. However, i played with my dog,donut. Look at this lazy dog.

Happily sun tanning. trying very hard to look like a zebra

wierd

2009-12-05T05:54:00.002+08:00

im awake now. nightmare! gosh, i woke up every few mins. Somethings wrong and weird. When i fell back asleep i dream of the same things again. i so going to stay awake. till morning. yawn. feeling weird this few weeks. things are not normal. strange things happen, strange noises are heard.

hmm

2009-12-05T03:12:00.006+08:00

Was on MC today too, still have flu and cough. slept till noon, was really tired and sick. Yawns=) evening went bowling with jerry and his girlfriend. They are sweet! Best wishes Jerry! My double agent has its new high game record of 268 today! i thought that ball was useless but it proved itself good! However it was kegel oiling, might be because of the clean back end. and i saw this at the car park. Gosh!

Are they friends or? i believed it has already hit the other car. yet it didn't change a place to park or move it front a little. i seriously don't get this and don't understand. Explain to me, anyone?

Is sick MC

2009-12-03T13:50:00.003+08:00

Is super sick, rest till late noon then woke up. waiting for doctor at 2pm. Flu, cough and fever, so not the wants. Please go away! Yesterday was Swiss bowling camp, went with Kai Peng. We bought 50 cups of bubble tea back for them, and managed to bargain from 1.20 till 1 per cup! Went back for a while, could not eat anything due to my sore throat. Aww. But was fun, seeing all the seniors and juniors once again after leaving swiss for almost 2 years already. Kind of miss secondary school life where we played together, studied together and eat snake together. Secondary school life is the best, it brought us, friends & teammates, close. Unlike Poly life where end of lesson, students spilt and go their own ways. Busy with their own things, leaving class bonding to the minimum. However CCA friends are still quite bonded. All this cant be compared to the old days in secondary school. Its just so much of a difference. Just suddenly miss Secondary school life. But is glad that it has pass in some ways too. Agree?

2009-12-02T10:01:00.006+08:00

Drunk driver jailed six months for causing pillion rider's death
By Zul Othman, TODAY | Posted: 01 December 2009 1633 hrs

SINGAPORE: A 60-year-old businessman was sentenced to six months in jail by a district court for causing the death of a pillion rider while driving under the influence of alcohol.

Tan Siam Poo admitted to causing the death of customer officer Norazirah Ajis when he lost control of his vehicle while driving along the Pan-Island Expressway in October last year.

The 25-year-old woman died on the spot, while the 39-year-old motorcyclist suffered minor injuries.

Tan is appealing against the sentence and is out on a S$15,000 bail.

- TODAY/ir
http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/
singaporelocalnews/view/1021749/1/.html

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Was reading through news online, when i came across this article. Riding a bike is dangerous. When other road users misuse the roads, the ones in bikes always suffer the most. The riders had no wrong in this case, the most - travelling fast. Yet the ones who were injured were those on the bike. People always think that its wont be that unlucky to happen to oneself, thinking that the can still control even under influence of alcohol. However, prevention is so much better than cure. In this case it has taken a life of an innocent. Although the rider suffered minor injuries, what about the pillion rider (the passanger)? dead. How would you feel in this situation? Regret? Things that one cannot even explain to the parents of the riders. Drivers/Riders, travelling fast is fun and does save time. But one must being responsible. Know when to speed but also when to slow down. Do not post danger to other road users. Those who are riders or intend to be one in future. Do consider car over bike. Many of causes of injuries comes from riders even if one had obeyed the traffic rules. It makes it worst when you the ones at fault gets away with light punishment. Rich could even engage lawers to defend themself, letting themself escape jail terms. Paying huge amount of fines won't affect their finance much. Is law fair?

Officially SICK!

2009-12-01T23:29:00.002+08:00

I guess i'm officially sick. Down with sore throat a bad one and running nose! cant stand it anymore. Took out some old medicine and took them. Went out to petrol station to buy Cool Rhino. It seems not bad as when i'm sick i would drink them and it actually recovers faster than usual. Hope it does this time round. Cool Rhino was a drink introduced by Jia Wei. I bought two of it today, really brought back some memories and happy moments. Glad that she has someone to take good care of her now. A peace of mind for me, no way back too. Now, to concentrate and pursue my dream of my future, to build a strong career and enjoy each moment of it. Its bed time, sick person have to sleep earlier! good night everyone!

Back for good

2009-12-01T16:43:00.002+08:00

Have been missing for quite sometime. Infact its a long time. Got over relationship stuff and all worries. Ever since attachment, my career goal became clearer. Future needs have changed too. Lamborghini/Bunglow/Yatch? All the wants are dreams yet so close. Bunker sector seems to be offering one of the best pay out. Large amount of profits and good investment. Seeing these bosses, directors, managers driving lamborghinis/ferraris, makes me jealous. However, it gives me a clear goal in future. Had been thinking if it is best to go back to this company my internship is or not. Now the answer seems clearer, wont miss this golden opportunity to be exposed to the world of bunkering.

Guess i am falling sick soon, sore throat, cold, flu are the symptoms of it. Guess i have to take some medicine before it worsen. Have not been bowling for the past few months i guess, hope skills have not dropped further. Totally unprepared for Milo, but still im giving it a try thanks to Wei Xiang's encouragements. Hope to make a name for myself or at least cover cost of this travel. All the best for those going for Milo too. Cheers!

everything is over

2009-06-20T02:19:00.002+08:00

YEA! finally everything is settled, letting go of someone might not be easy but i tink i did it. and i enjoy this moment in my life. look forward to LTC at Ipoh. friends, and team mates. cant wait for it actually. Hmm thanks JIE WEI! you did your best to recover our friendship. and i can see how much this friendship means. ill nv screw it up again. promise. maybe someone had fallen for you( not to worry is not me) and do watch on it. Dont break someones heart, i know you dont see things clear but certain things you have to handle it well. you might have hurt someone badly today. i fell sorry for him. maybe its me who think too much but sometimes its just whatyou never expect. hmmmeet a few new friends at LTC briefing. they are kind of nice, and easy going. easy to talk with too=) cheers hope LTC will me more then fun.=)

2009-06-14T20:49:00.002+08:00

seriously dont know what is happeneing. hmm guess they were right. i wont buy footwear for anyone anymore. the myth behind it might just be true

im sorry, yet i dont think is my fault

2009-06-12T04:16:00.002+08:00

maybe there isnt any need to explain. thats why i replied it so short. no point telling you how i feel. you wont and dont believe. nor will you do anything. im sorry again, but i dont think i was wrong. you arent wrong too. its just we. i wont love you like i did before. until you prove me otherwise. but i think there wont be any chance.

to the other person, im sorry. i know you were trying to be nice. you treated me good, but i gave you attitude. i dont know how to approach you now. i left you, didnt contact you for sometime. but i really wished we were still that close. sometimes im hash. but you know how i feel i guess.

a simple girl, is all that i want. ill treat you good. ill stay with you.

WTH, am i that easy to bluff?

2009-06-06T04:40:00.002+08:00

WTH, fuk it. i wont trust anyone anymore, nor will i do anything about it. i dont need explainations/ lies. I dont want to be close to you anymore. i just want to be left alone. FUK IT. never had i expected this. i should nv have appeared there. NEVER. Trust is just stupid.

shocked and unexpected, disappointed and pissed. Saw and understood. being nice out of guilt is not accepted. maybe i should nv had treated you nice in the first place then you wont do any favour in return.. You think you are pretty, you think you can control. you took all for what i say granted. and now i see and understand what i never expected. Some girl who think they are pretty just dont understand how others feel. and they never will because they are the perfection. they wont change.

really

2009-06-03T21:33:00.001+08:00

its getting tired and demoralizing. i just, let it be and let it go. cant hold on to her anymore.

nope, not

2009-05-29T22:52:00.001+08:00

im tired, emotional lost. not trying hard again?

i dont know.

2009-05-26T22:25:00.002+08:00

i dont know what to blog about. mood isnt right to blog. hmm shall wish for her illness to recover soon. i pamper her so much, so much so that it will make her lazy, make her take the presents of me for granted?

Im stressed im tired. you are that popular amoung guys. and i hate competitions. will i give up?

lonely once again

2009-05-24T02:07:00.002+08:00

i realised how lonely i was. without you being there to chat with me anymore. you have never fail to not reply me. we used to be able to talk, share troubles, stay out late for supper, stuck no ideas on where to go. now everything seems so diff after that night on msn. a wrong approach maybe? i do miss the days. and might never the same again? can i ever treat you good again?

...so left alone... really..=*(
(i smiled to cover the sorrows.) will you understand?

you made me sad

2009-05-18T01:40:00.002+08:00

does effort pays off? sometimes i wonder. whose true whose not, who i love and who love me? whose the one? im giving up, for you did this to me.

DRIVING! FUN!

2009-05-05T02:36:00.002+08:00

OMG so in love with driving. have been out lately driving! went thai/ normal pub pass days, then last night to Bishan the prawning area to eat then today just came back from circuit road supper, then dropped jeremy off at the thai pub. all i can say is petrol is expensive. and van is more fun to drive then the car actually!..tomorrow 8am lesson, gtg sleep! nitez

ITS a PASSED

2009-04-29T00:08:00.002+08:00

OMG! AT last hard work and worries paid off. i PASSED my TP. i CAN officially drive on the road with the triangle! hahaha. omg 5 months and i promised myself to do it on first time for everything. and i did it. its good and too happy for me. i guess i need not explain the feeling. you all will understand 1 day. haha. DRIVING is the key to freedom.

New lifestyle

2009-04-23T01:05:00.002+08:00

Family problems. i got to learn to accept what is going to happen. i think i have to start saving/ working hard and save up. Conditions arent the same life it used to be. Cheer up dear Mummy. Ill be good boy. I try. Hmm class lack of some noise and seems so not active. Willis, Irvin etc, missing from the class! haiz. BUT BUT! few new studies joined us!. got CHIO bu. was like mg when i saw. gods creation.

memories are to be forgotten.=)

i dont understand

2009-04-05T00:32:00.002+08:00

what is wrong? stop scolding me! im pissed too. you said up to me, now? FUK UP! FFFFFF UP! my lifes screwed.

hmm

2009-04-01T23:58:00.002+08:00

looking for 10.8~11.4 pound bowling ball(second hand). not going competitive in bowling anymore. for the sake of my future and studies, im not giving bowling up yet for now. but slowly as days pass, the urge of letting it go seems stronger. i got no drive to fight as how i was, i got less interest in how i felt bowling was. covert to spinner? still a maybe but i know i need to play hook still so as to give myself an advantage into a Uni next time. haiz, can anyone tell me what to do?

2009-03-29T02:20:00.001+08:00

Derrick, you are in pain.

Everything that you ever loved is gone. You have no one left out there and you feel so alone and so lonely. You sit alone wishing that your time would come to put you out of your misery...

empty still

2009-03-26T22:21:00.002+08:00

Missing something called love and care. Hmm went training then driving lesson. First time the car was missing. With the instructor. then the in charge sub another instructor for me. HA! Its time to learn to enjoy life to the max.=)

life isnt good

2009-03-22T23:14:00.002+08:00

Tired of everything around me. Just hope to sail out of all the troubles. just you and me. i think of you at times. but i given up on you more times. Nothing was true. So tired of this place. i need a new life.='(

all out of love

2009-03-21T03:09:00.002+08:00

its empty. all that i wanted, is what you couldn't give. aimless. i want to watch movie, had an expensive meal. buy things. pamper myself. Im FEELING TOTALLY lost, so much problems that i wish i could just hide forever.

we did our best

2009-03-20T03:00:00.002+08:00

We tried we played and we strived hard. We didnt win. But to me, the team spirit we had is much better then winning. Hmm bowl kind of better today. but i know its totally luck. im not ready to bowl. because of luck im in masters. However im going to strive hard tomorrow!. Jia you!=)

screw it.

2009-03-19T02:45:00.002+08:00

Since long bowl that bad. just can concentrate. the foul line=( today tragic 170 average. total 180 average after 2 days. I want to score tomorrow not because of myself, because i want the team to win. i dont care how i bowl. friends/ teamates are much important. Good luck Team SP! 900 series per game total= 3600 pinfals

demoralised

2009-03-18T03:25:00.002+08:00

NAG oiling was easy, area big. yet i wasnt able to take advantage of it to score. having a problem with the approach, hit foul line 5/6 times. really killed my connections. first i didnt dare to slide, second accuracy needless to say, and third wasnt enjoying the game. just hope sliding will be solve by today. really please. i need to up my 187 average tomorrow. may be blessed pleased! hai. was totally demoralised and sad. really feeling very uneasy now.

Things have to change

2009-03-16T03:19:00.002+08:00

Had been busy pass few days. went for first aid course. can say is quite a sure pass course but yea i still learned how to save people okay, like CPR! haha cool right. National Age Group is just tomorrow. Im not prepared, still trying to recover from left knee injury. But i still will try my best. No pain no gain.

I tried this quiz, not really that true. the part on good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. HAHA!
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on education:
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.
The right job for you:
You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
Who is your true self:
You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.

我不明白，真的不明白。

2009-03-11T19:16:00.002+08:00

我不明白，真的不明白。lifes changing, problems arising. Even the trusted, turns out not. Even perfect, sometimes failed. sometimes understood, but forgotten at times. finding out the truth, leds to more horror. put my mind and heart at peace, yet troubled. Just need 1 whom i can trust, who cares.

O no!

2009-03-08T03:37:00.002+08:00

My com crashed! my songs all gone, documents, etc. those people who i have not link, the blog address are all gone too!. please tell me your blog address again prople. thanks. AND! omg jerene, i lost all the songs you send me. SORRY! hai! sad sad. my com now is so so so so empty! how, someone please help. lol NAG coming, just started to train up for nag. hopefully its will turn out good. 17~20 march! Last year NAG was the worst out of all the competitions i joined. only NAG i didnt qualify for masters.Others all i did!

why is it so?

2009-03-04T01:54:00.003+08:00

Hmm im feeling scared, afraid and worried. I dont know why i still cant let go. I hate this feeling. It leads to no where. I cant fill in another person. i feeling lonely feeling very pressured. But i dont know what to do. Im SO LOST. When will things get better? haiz. why am i in this mess? i hope i could just hide from all this problems. being drank might be best.....

Loving someone too much is a kind of harm.

A crazy day

2009-03-02T10:38:00.002+08:00

Hmm went JP yesterday, saw yi ting tere. lol. o ya cheer up for your studies! accompanied jeremy buy his itp business wear. then went safra mount faber meet up with lynal all. went supper and suppose to go home as i got dental this morning. but ended up they kept force me to stay at dalbert home till this morning. we went east coast for breakfast too. then i went for dental. Didnt know why i was feeling so dam cold all the way. Maybe just not feeling well or too tired i guess. took a cab home instead. My bills! hai im still short of $$ im so so so dead. hai. OKAY! im off to bed really really very tired.=(

somethings wrong

2009-03-01T01:15:00.002+08:00

Had a terrible head ache the whole day. panadol and bed were the needs for today. couldnt go out couldnt rest well couldnt even sleep. Im having this head ache problem for quite few days already. but today was the worst. I cant take it anymore! headache please leave me alone! shall drink lesser alcohol i hope. The worst is i have no encouragement. i need someone here.='(

Out with bowlers

2009-02-28T15:16:00.002+08:00

The first ever outing till almost 4 plus am with 10 bowlers. hmm went fish and co. Celebrated louis and dalbert birthdays. after that we went to marina barrage to chill. We drank beer and played poker. HAHA. hmm have not been going to zouk for a long long time already. Anyone? i can bring 1 person in for free. Lets party=)

am i still waiting?

2009-02-27T03:33:00.002+08:00

hmm sometimes i question myself if im still expecting for her to change. Sometimes i pity her, sometimes i care for her, sometimes i hate her, sometimes i just want to tell her off stop hiding things, sometimes i want to tell her i still love her. I cant figure out what am i thinking, what i want now. I dont know if this is so because i still love her that much. Or its just memorise that i cant let go. Or is it that i just want an accompany. Im not feeling any good i realised. I just what to enjoy what others can, what others have, and what others are doing. Yet, here i am struggling to find a new live, a new way of living on. Because i know she will never be able to change.

bad hang over

2009-02-26T14:14:00.002+08:00

Could not sleep well, slept at 7 woke up at 2. Had a bad hang over. head spinning now. hmm went a thai pub yesterday night. Opened two bottles of chivas. Jeremy seems enjoying himself with the thai girl! haha.. KP and me were not really into this type i guess? i spent quite some time outside actually. lol meng yik was the very high., should be the most high person amoung us already lol. I didnt really get high and didnt really enjoy it. they are going on friday night again, Hmm still deciding if i should go.=(

as usual

2009-02-24T20:36:00.005+08:00

Just back from driving, 1st time out at road. Rather easier then circuit. At least engine didnt stall. working hard on moving off faster. Hmm listen to my mp3 while going to BBDC an came across this song. so alike to what i feel like saying now.=)

我以為

作詞：黃婷　
作曲：品冠　
編曲：伍冠諺

妳曾說不想有天讓我知道　妳對他　有那麼好

妳說會懂　我的失落　不是靠寬容　就能夠解脫

我以為我出現的時候剛好　妳和他　正說要分開

我以為妳　己對他不再期待　不縱容他　再給妳傷害

我以為我的溫柔　能給妳整個宇宙　我以為我能全力　填滿妳感情的缺口

專心陪在妳左右　他彌補一切的錯　也許我太過天真　以為奇蹟會發生

他讓妳紅了眼眶　妳卻還笑著原諒

原來妳早就想好妳要留在誰的身旁

我以為我夠堅強　卻一天天的失望(卻輸得那麼絕望)

少給我一點希望　希望就不是奢望

我以為終究妳會慢慢明白　他的心　已不在妳身上

我的關心　妳依然無動於衷　我的以為　只是我以為

L4D

2009-02-23T02:39:00.002+08:00

Just back home..LOL went out with KP, Jeremy and Meng Yik. Went to play lan. Played L4D. LOL! had much fun again. then we went to diary farm there to eat kaya toast. set there chat for a while. We saw this Mecs! Dam nice dam cool. we were guessing who drove it. Yet till we left, no one drove it away. haha. Once again Good luck to those taking exams tomorrow.

night out

2009-02-22T21:52:00.002+08:00

HMm went out yesterday night. watched Pink Panther. With Jeremy, Yuan Chao, Jin min, Yan Jing and Yan Ru. haha. quite sudden actually. but fun out with friend again! Movie, supper and chat till almost 4am!. HAHA! they talked alot of emo stuff. i got a little into that emo mood. thought of her again, but i know things are diff. I shouldnt think of her anymore. I must and have to let go. Derrick will be strong.=) And study hard to her. Jia you for exams. dont give up.=) And to this person who tag as =). jia you too! all the best for exams!.

will i lose you as my friend?

2009-02-21T03:57:00.002+08:00

i have lost a good friend, the girl i loved most, recently. Now am i going to lose one more good friend of mine? i know how you feel. the feeling of being stuck, helpless. and more, you didnt do anything to harm them. But running away from this problem doesnt help. If you are brave enough, stand up and deal with it. Im always there to give you my support. i believe they all misunderstood the situation. Stand up for your rights. actually there are really alot of ways you can clear things out. many solutions. it is whether you want to or not. Trust me, everyone have feelings. and feelings can change. My advice to this good friend of mine, is to share it with her "him" and come up with a solution. If not you that group of friends. Its not convient for me to say anything, later might end up more complicated. and more misunderstanding. Lastly, cheer up always. its never too late to do anything, as long as theres the will to. Hope things for you would be settled soon. take care always=)

1st lesson on driving

2009-02-20T23:59:00.001+08:00

Was quite fun. but starting a little scare scare but in the end chiong liao. haha! car died twice. once when i release the clutch too much i guess and second is the sudden brake of car infront. i forgot the clutch, too sudden to rmb it. So i just braked. lol and died. haha other then that fun. Just that my moving on a little slower. need improve on it. yea. is happy on his progress.=)

sweetest dream

2009-02-19T18:26:00.003+08:00

Had the most wonderful dream ever. I dream of someone. So unbelievable. So sweet, so there for me. HAHA! a little crappy but i was just so true. what ever sweet things i ever did, this person did it to me. haha although just a dream, its still worth remembering. it can never happen i know for this persons attitude to me, but at least in dream i saw it. thanks god. Hmm not forgeting a persons birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to HER.
OMG i need to work! first time so broke. my bank= $20 plus. my wallet= $10. Parents oversea. for once, im really dead. Card bills, still owe few hundred. i guess i overspent this time. hai. too late. Gonna get some income. work! ayone have jobs to intro please tell me. i need it.
Derrick wants to enjoy life and meet alot of friends from now on.
Because of love two gets together, yet because of love two may part.

FTT=pass =)

2009-02-18T14:55:00.002+08:00

Passed FTT this morning. Glad that is one step nearer to TP and finally driving.=). TP on 28/4. if everything goes well one time, then ill take 5 months and 8 days from the day i register to getting driving licence.=) haha. and hope nothing goes wrong during practical lesson too=) Hmm going to bowl leauge tonight. and meet up with team mates. =) Derrick is so glad that he is moving on, and determinded not to fall back anymore. Jia you!

things will get better

2009-02-17T21:26:00.002+08:00

i started to pay attention to everyone beside me. friends that accompanied me, team mates that motivated. lifes getting better although without her. But i guess im more relax, carefree, feeling so much happier. and hope things will get better.=) Didnt do much things today, played with Donut. He still bites, and scratch. He thinks its fun. it hurts! haha but he only does it to my family. ha. hmm wonder when will next class outing be? ha.. tomorrow is wednesday! ladies night, anyone? haha!

trip to jurong port

2009-02-16T23:55:00.011+08:00

Before i blog would like to say to a girl : Study hard for exams, hope your knees have recovered. i did get you birthday present but now, i dont think there is any need to pass it to you. Happy Birthday in advance. There wont be trust between us anymore. You lied, and even covering it up. This is how you face up with problems. You run, if not you find excuses to cover up all your wrongs. I loved you once, but not anymore. You played, you enjoyed. I fall in love deeply and fell hard. Im still recovering from all the lies and crap. I wont blame on it anymore. You take care from now on. I realised its not possible to try to change someone, hoping one day the person change for you. It is a fresh start for me now. Deleted the physical her, yet feelings are still there. A heavy price i paid for the mistake i made. I will be happy, so will you.

And JERENE, Cheer up alright. your just freaking stress up. Dont scare yourself. take it easy, just do your best. JIA YOU. you have my support.

Woke up quite late for school.
Went jurong port for visit. its my first time in there. kind of a wonderful experience. the fun part was with friends=) but sad thing is we cant get out of the bus, under ISPS code(port security).
After the trip went town to play L4D with classmates. and we had dinner at Aston.=) This was our first time our group went out for dinner and play together. in fact first outing. You guys are cool man! gonna miss willis in class. although i hope we could have helped him, he still have to forward his module. i hope its just one. may god bless him.

Below are some picure of the port taken inside the bus.
=)

left picutre is the exit gate for prime movers, the truck that carries container, all the camera there record the detail of container and prime mover for records of containers moving out.
Other 2 picutre shows ship, should be bulk carriers, at berth.

left picutre shows container of UASC, a major customer of jurong port.

right picutre shows an empty berth.

Cement imports are done at jurong port. Only port for import of processed cement and suger.
The Cement imported is stored at the 4 towers you see at the back. There were 6 of this towers for storage, all of different companies. All cement carries you see on the road have to load cement at this port.

Key gantry cranes : Used to unload containers from ship. can reach up to 14 containers of length when in operation. It operates 24 hours. each worker will stay up on top of it at the driver seat for 8 hours.

Rubber tyred gantry cranes (RTG): Use to stack containers up. Can stack up to 6 container high. PSA RTG can stack up to 7 high.

exams over, yet still arent happy.

2009-02-16T03:10:00.002+08:00

HMM. someone was complaining my blogs dead. so here i am. anyway, is not that i have nothing to blog, just sometimes i just dont know if i should publicise it or. anyway hoping all a belated happy val days. was in a very bad mood since last monday. not sure if it was due to exams. And i realised i blamed it on someone. this person was (use to be) my motivator. Studying together was great joy. however, this exams, was there for me at all. It was all lies. yet denining. everytime you were wrong, you lie once. thinking to push the blame to everyone else. im tired in give my trust to you anymore. just take care. Went bowling most of the time after exams, although injury on knee. Went swensens for dinner with parents. Then home to play with Donut( my new family member: a baby retriver). A very cute one, but is very irritating cause its very very playful. Just now at msn someone pissed me of. To that person, im sorry for over reacting. but you know why already so smile. and DONT blame yourself. You just meant it as a joke right so its okay.=) you keep blame yourself, i wont feel any good too. And Thanks for motivating me during my exams. and cheer me up when im sad. your exams is coming soon, jia you okay? do share your sadness with me too. thanks=) Lastly to all students taking exams soon, all the best and study hard!...=)

What am i suppose to do?

2009-02-09T20:27:00.003+08:00

Exams this week. tomorrow is econs. yet has been thinking of something else. Has been long seen i felt you close. the feeling seems far lost. even words from you now seemed empty. I got nothing encouraging from you. How am i suppose to hold on? where love seems so far away. Sad and unappreciated.

i have not forgotten.

2009-01-23T23:17:00.002+08:00

The memories you gave me, so beautiful that i could not forget. Now, i made this choice, to pull away from you. please dont make me regret. i hope you will have a better and happier future. You never knew how much your every word hurt me, and you will never know in the future too. Actually, i really miss you alot. but i still can control myself from contacting you.

Hmm went SPSU GP training today. was very weird at first. Knew no one, didnt even know if we were welcomed or not. But yea after the session my impression or this people changed, they seems to be more freindly then i expected. And the girls were rather those people that initiated to get things moving instead of the guys.haha. Rather interesting.=)

All i want is to know more friends, have more activities. I dont wish to stay home everyday.

Maybe

2009-01-22T19:04:00.002+08:00

thought of the pass, feeling the change in me. nothing i could say, more on sorrow and hopelessness. Unknown to me, is her now. wondering if she is happy with her life. I pray for you.Wonder if she felt any thing. but here i am, feeling worried and sadness.

i knew this day would come.

2009-01-20T18:18:00.003+08:00

Too many things are happening. wasnt in any mood of joy/celebration. Things just hit till the limit. If it didnt break through it, it fall back the the very beginning. i kept telling myself, i was wrong, it was my fault. Give in and tried to trust. I dont ask for anything, all i needed was the trust between us. Guy A appeared, you told me im too much. now, B and C. and who knows what you kept from me. I admit, sometimes being that unreasonable. have you wondered why? you said i concern too much on the return, how about you? have you given in without complains? Currently you blame me for all the problems we have. Was it that i didnt try to understand you? or was it that you didnt tell me anything? After all the problems, you brought in people who you felt are so much better. And now you said i assume things that werent true. Before you do anything had you even ask yourself how you would feel if you were that person? Its not a time to argue anything, different people thinks different, its just weather you get the picture behind it. Since to you im not worth, im just keeping silent. I know you have many things and werent in any good mood. Whats is the point of quarreling? since i tried, since things seems to be ugly to you. Ill just stay oneside. as long as i see that you are happy with no matter who or what. If we could get close again, all i need now is that special trust that we both can give each other. And please i am not trying to blame you on anything, i just hope you understand how i feel.

Warning letters on attendance. Exams arriving soon. New year just few days later. I still dont know what i want to do. doing pointless things everyday. Wheres the colour in life?

However, im not as bored as i were last time. This little new member of the family, kept me entertained. This little dog, cute and lovely. Likes to irritate me. but its so cute that i even played with it. lol! Force it to learn to jump, learn to bark. etc. Just so cute and innocent. I just love this new member. He definately cheers me up eveyday. Have stop bowling, only on mondays when training is on. Seem no motivation yet. but its coming soon.. haha!

never knew. life is just too much of a suprise.

2009-01-19T22:47:00.004+08:00

Went for morning lesson. After that skipped school, didnt have any mood for class. Went for training in the evening. Then home. Recieve call that i wasnt selected for nationals this year. i thought there was hope after topping the table, but yet again. False hope.

reached home, went online. Viewed blog. It was just to much of a suprise. Heart sank, tear almost drop. Didnt expect that you would do all this. Since things had to be this way, there isnt any thing i can even do. You made it so clear. If the past wasnt false. You want to tell me the message, so you decided to blog it all. Now im telling you i got it. To let you happy. i................. I just never believe. You pulled it so near so you could stab it real hard. You might have forgotten this part of your life. But ill tell you, this hurt can never recover. I never lied, its you didnt know what was going on. Lastly, theres nothing to explain anymore but i swear i love you truthfully.now, i respect your desision. You were nice, you tried very hard, i let you down again and again. Its time you persue your happiness. Be happy always. Take care.

I hate the year 209. Its all begins in hopes and ends with nothing. So back to square one, where things started off hopelessly. You were the hope, so was bowling. Yet both of it.......

when its gone, let it go.

2009-01-18T01:10:00.003+08:00

there was nothing i could do. even if i did, saying all the encouragements. you just say thanks. im just that normal to you. since you know he is good, you should cherish it, let it develop. i encourage you to and may luck be with you. All the best in future.

all the mistakes seems to be with me. have you tried waiting for a reply that never comes? how would you feel? dishearted? will you even message the person again? when your good your really fantastic. when your not you ignore. if it was all my fault, well ill shut my heart, let go of you. you might be happier. definately. your words were mean, its torned my heart apart. now its numb, the pain will subside. just like anything else. theres always an end to everything. so monday. was the last day you were the girl i love and cherished most. you will never care about the way i tried anymore.

its okay.

2009-01-14T02:24:00.002+08:00

didnt made it, but its okay. Kind of understand life already. nothing is fair. anything can happen. yup=) And i pass my eng with C6. hmm at least i pass. whee~! Happy birthday TO LYNAL LOW!.. i dont know what are my plans about bowling. still yet to start bowling.

And thanks to this girl, she held her anger back trying hard to understand me. I might be very unreasonable. but otherwise im always good right? ha Thanks alot. hope you get well soon

I cant take false hopes, if there were any, please let it never happen. i beg you. I just want to be with a girl, only the two of us in our own world. i miss what love is, i miss the feeling of loving and being loved by.

you made the way for me to go

2009-01-12T01:02:00.002+08:00

sometimes you were there, sometimes you cared, sometimes you made me think you dont, and you wont there. have anything i done touched you? have you really understand what i need. You just walked away. Do you know i was hurt everytime you treated me that cold. again and again. since you walk away, you treated me cold, then why come back when you got nothing to do. What am i to you? did you really cherish or you just needed the attention? everytime i swear ill climb up the ladder with you, but often you forgot and left me behind. i fall after every setback. Maybe the ladder broke, or maybe my legs were the one that broke. when i needed the hand, to help me up. It was never you. disappointed, but its the way you are. so what if i changed, you never know that i did. it was no ones fault, just glad i had this memories left, to bring along with me, and to move on. If you hate me, that i lied, think again. Haven i tried hard enough? everyone has feelings. no matter how hurt, angry i was. I still think i should give in, and that things will get better. Till now i realised, i was wrong. as time past, we got drifted away. so far till you never want to see me anymore.

Happy belated birthday to Ligeng and her sister,Jamie. haha! Went 'Future' with they two and her sis friends! Spent alot money OMG! haha but nevermind. Birthday girl enjoyed? haha first time at club hor someone. hope its enjoyable for you! haha. Drank a bit, dance a bit. then rest a bit.......haha.. most people club till drank. but someone club till wanna SLEEP! haha you know who arh..haha.. hmm

Today went suntec to do CIP! lol quite boring, but enjoyable la. alot people. lol Then went Orchard with mum and dad to shop.

Tomorrow(12/1/09) is O levels result release date. omg. Will i pass eng? HAHA! and tomorrow might have to do CIP again at Ngee Ann polytechnic. Argh! lets see if i feel like going tomorrow lol!

why me!

2009-01-10T01:33:00.002+08:00

hasnt been bowling for the pass 4 days. was rather glad. but the feeling of not training sux. i totally have no idea what i want now. life is just not fair. i just want a group of good friends and a joyful week end. thats all. can I? please!

neglected

2009-01-09T01:50:00.001+08:00

I feel so neglected by you.But I dont dare to do anything, i know you will get so angry. aish. what have i done wrong again in the afternoon?

hmm tired

2009-01-07T23:39:00.003+08:00

Hmm was doing econs project/ report. still yet to complete, deadline this friday. really dead. HA! whoa, didnt bowl again today!. yes! i am controling the temptation to bowl. HAHA! i did it. Hmm today lesson was kind of slack. did nothing, slack all the way and lesson was over just like that. See poly life is so waste of time. HAI!

Anyway, get well soon and enjoy your training, hope you can improve fast. i do think for you still.
And am i really that desprate? maybe yes.

COOL!

2009-01-06T23:19:00.005+08:00

HMM! super late for lesson today. all because of the freaking heavy laptop. had to bring it today. bag super big!. and cant squeeze into the MRT! omg. miss a few MRT, too shy to try to squeeze into the MRT. LOL. my bag was so big la. so pai seh. HA! as usual so tired, fell asleep in all the lectures. Too bored! that fact. When home after school today! DIDNT GO TO ALLEY! amazing. well done derrick. went home with friends, chat and joke. whaoo. so long didnt go back with them, didnt realised it was that fun. Went to collect my new specs then went home. Changed and went to play basketball. NG SHI MEI! You see how good this friend here is! You ask jiu go liao. Wheres my international buffet you owe me? from a pizza hut 2 years ago till now also haven treat. now plus interest!. lol..
Random thought= Get a job soon!
Learn guitar!
Stop Bowling for now..

Wonder if you had thought of me tonight? hais.. i miss a friday month ago, the day you tried to give in to me, tried to avoid the worst of it can get, and made me feel that you actually care. i remember this day, the best memory i had. the future now seems to uncertain.

hmm..what does all the things you said suppose to mean?

2009-01-04T23:39:00.002+08:00

Went malaysia just now. came back around seven plus. singapore too stress! ha! thought today was a good day for me. something happened. its was ugly. i hate it. What are those suppose to mean? aish. Tired, got to go sleep already i guess.. tomorrow long day plus training. i hope all the thing are over. and that you would think before you do something. All i wish to know now. Do you care as much as you do in the past? will you sacrify? or you still like the way you were alone. Things that were simple, has became so complicated. And If you dont like anything about my post, DONT READ!. good night people.

could you ever see it?

2009-01-03T13:11:00.002+08:00

all you see was how bad i was, how i managed to lied. if this is all you always see, then okay, im wrong. you can be angry, annoyed. and all. but i got no rights for it. you started all this. you blamed me for it. i dont tink this is fair. anyway there is nothing fair. you decide if you want to understand. cause i did. all this time, things got so complicated, i wish i never had see things so clearly. now i knew so much, i hate the way things are now. i had lost the way i used to be, the way i see about you. yes it was just my fault. and forever will it be.

the truth reveals

2009-01-02T18:46:00.002+08:00

hmm, never had i expected the girl i used to hate, was the one that understood me. what im up to, what i want. it was my mistake to blame her, hate her. cause she wasnt even awear of the situation. life is really full of surprises. and perhaps she was right. i might have to agree with her. there wont be any future even if i did carried on. all other thing might be true too. opposite things happened, the girl i used to trust most, end up .... no point saying anymore. its just how different the way we think. maybe this is fate. its a new year. i shall have new resolution and new targets in life. Studies of cause. bowling too, then a girl that understands and dont mind doing whatever for me. HAHA! sounds good right. ha ill never find those type. lol. just my imagination. Results were so bad. noting i want to comment on. bowling still an uncertainty. this is life. HA! Love is liar. my shirt says so.. haha! ALRIGHT so glad i understood that life not all about 1 thing. HA! lets party! and happy new year EVERYONE. Oya jerene! sorry forget to thank you. HA! you are love guru! HAHA!

Yup Yup

2008-12-21T00:03:00.001+08:00

Yup, today is much better day. met her, talk a little. at least i got to see her before i leave for milo. im contented. hmm bowling is not improving, tried a few games. cant bowl like i use to. i need to improve back fast please. Other wise, today is rather a good day!.. cheers

emotional night

2008-12-20T02:31:00.004+08:00

Was watching Tv just. about some love relationship. it made me recall so much about my pass. I teared. sometimes i feel that i shouldnt be a guy. i feel i am more to a girl, teared so easily. since young till now. Im really feeling very empty. theres no one i can talk to. i wont flirt anymore. didnt talk to alot people today. trying to keep to my own promise, that i wont flirt anymore. But im very troubled, theres no one there. Im really feeling empty for this time. im really left with no one. i have so much to say. but its all bottled up in me. would a girl love me like i was the only guy she wanted in earth? Is there true love? im so empty, i dont know how. for so many years, i have failed in love. I just hope for a girl that will hold me, and lead me on. now i felt i have fallen, so deep that i cant get out on my own. Why is that so? i just need the special one girl. I tried so hard. but fail so many times. Love isnt true to me. this might just be my life. as lonely as i am. Empty night.

hmm.. will things get better?

2008-12-19T13:56:00.002+08:00

i decided that i really need to do something. so i went down, hope to clear things out. But didnt really see you. But the wait is worth while. I wont regret doing so much for you. even if you dont really feel it. i realised it the process not the result. I might have tried and fail but its better then i didnt try and fail now. at least i have no regrets. At last we started to talk a little. should i be sad or happy? no more that close as we were, now we are like strangers. maybe you have lost all the feeling through out the last few days, but i never had. I just want you the be happy now. i put so much sadness into your life. i never realised you tried so hard too, till i reflect back on it when your gone. will you talk to me like how you wanted to talk to me? will you do what you have done for me? will all this get any better as time goes by? i just hope for your trust back.

Don't tell me it's not worth trying for, you can't tell me its not worth dying for, you know it's true, everything I do, I do it for you.

Tired..

2008-12-18T11:04:00.003+08:00

Just got home from cycling. has been my second hobbie now. everytime i dont feel good/ happy there i go.. traveling on it. play leauge yesterday night. screw it up. my lowest 3 games in the leauge. dont feel good again. the pain has came back, im stopping from now for a few days hopefully timing is still there. hmm i really dont like the feeling of wearing the strappal. but theres no other choice. ive to go get pain killer before malaysia trip. remind me people, thanks.
I bought myself a new phone for X'mas. super broke. but i like it. its dam cool! whee!~ im feeling so much better now.. thanks to Shi hui, Si tong, Dalbert, Louis And JERENE! really thanks so much so much for being there.

"I might have failed, but i have loved you from the start."

i dont know why..

2008-12-16T11:36:00.003+08:00

Woke up before the my alarm rang. Dont know why feeling very emotional. Was thinking how is she now. Tears droped for her. i realised every little thing that i done to allow her to feel im not the one she can trust. I realised it. But is she still interested in letting herself trust me again? its was hurt after hurt, for every forgiveness she gave me. i took that for granted. Little did i realise that she was getting tired in giving me her trust. and now suddenly, just one shot, she let it all out. now the feeling of being all alone, has made me think alot. its really my regret. its all my fault..

Tears just drop, telling me not to let go. My eyes saw it so clearly, my mind thought it through in detail. I've lost a wonderful girl, that is so hard to find now.

its just getting use to it now

2008-12-16T01:16:00.002+08:00

Im getting used to the way things is now. Feeling very neutral about what happened. Just regreted what Ive chosen. But things that were done are done. Its just me geting use to it now.. Started to go training already, but still feeling down in the way i bowl. Just need some motivation. Hmm..

Nothing last forever.

maybe she will never forgive anymore.

2008-12-15T05:16:00.002+08:00

Maybe im getting irritated to her. Shall just leave her alone. She's turning cold to me. And i could feel its gone soon. Aish.If fate brought has brought us close, it will led us on. If it wasnt meant to be, then it will continue like this. althought i hope i couls do something, but i know im getting irritating to her now. Other then i promise to change, there isnt anything i can do. Its time for her to move on. maybe she will be happier.

Derrick cheer up!..=*(

Will you give me another chance?

2008-12-14T16:12:00.007+08:00

Do you still remember all this?

This were memories that i thought of..
I know how much you lost your trust. I know how much hurt you have gone through with me. But there were happiness we shared, sweetness we been through. And has been nine days since everything changed. Will you let this mistake affect those times we had? I dedicate my this post to you. And i write it here."Sorry to jasmine, its was a mistake i made. A total regret. has been hard on you, I'll make it up. For if theres love, you will forgive me. And ill wait. I promised you ill change, and im changing. " I'll wait till you give me your reply.

Things can change if there was a chance to do so. Remember what you promised? you wont ignore me. And i believe you wont.

everythings wrong

2008-12-13T23:00:00.005+08:00

Out of fustration i went out to bowl. timing wasnt there, accuracy needless to say, score gone. How am i suppose to go milo next next week? im totally off. my bowling sux. so is my life now. everything just seems to be gone. im feeling real fustrated. this was my score. there is noting i can do now, but pray. my motivator is no more there. she wont care anymore. i Dont feel like bowling anymore. depressed with myself. Fuck off derrick. Let me rot alone. please stop caring for me. You dont deserve to go through all this with me.

83! compared to weeks ago where i had 200 over averages. this is depress enough dont add on to this please.

this is it

2008-12-13T13:19:00.005+08:00

Im sorry for what i wrote previously. i was too hush. my bad.

Thanks Jerene for chatting with me, trying to cheer me up. at least i know theres someone who care. You enjoy your trip to malaysia okay? take care..
Pei Jin, well im cheering up..=) thanks for trying to talk me out, it seems useless talking right. but ill get over it la.. haha. =)How's CO?
To hui ying: Get well soon. Hope your fever subside.
Yi Ting sorry didnt go town yesterday, was too moodless to do anything. stay home since morning. visit you soon okay? enjoy working.=)

Im Freaking lonely..

2008-12-12T17:24:00.004+08:00

Bored and i did this..And found out it seems just like me.
Laid-back Doers are friendly, happy persons. They enjoy being together with other people. Smart, eloquent, witty and charming, they like to be the centre of attraction. They do not like to be alone. Their zest for life ensures that others feel well in their company and that they quickly get to know people. Laid-back Doers get the best out of every moment - many people of this type have a gift for making their whole life one big party. Boredom is unknown in their presence because they are very good at carrying others away with their enthusiasm, their good mood and their optimism. They are pragmatic, realistic and live completely in the here and now. One will also seldom find them inactive in their spare time; due to their open, curious nature, they mostly have many hobbies and interests. They are not afraid of the unknown: as they are flexible and creative, they quickly adjust to new situations and make the best of them. They sometimes come into conflict with strict rules or hierarchies by which they quickly feel constrained and against which they rebel.
As friends, Laid-back Doers are generous, helpful persons who attach great importance to harmonious relationships and a good atmosphere. Their sociable manner means that they have a large circle of friends and they love having the house full of many different types of guests. They are happy to give in to their spontaneous moods and fancies in the just one or two important things. This makes them appear somewhat unpredictable to those with a quieter nature. When it really matters, you can rely on them one hundred percent.
As partners, they are creative, impetuous and imaginative - as long as their partner knows how to fascinate them. They can hardly stand boredom or routine in a relationship. They do not like conflicts at all; if a relationship becomes too strenuous or involves too much effort, they tend to withdraw from the partnership and start to look for a new partner. However, if one manages to keep their curiosity alive in the long term and surprise them again and again, one has a loyal and loving partner.

i tired, im giving in. i apologized, im sorry. i was left alone, im ignored. Even till now. Should i do anything about it? History seems to repeat again and again. i shouldn't have any hope from the start.
So much of hope i put on it. so much of disappointment now. Today, Seems to be the worst day. Bored, stayed home whole day. Restless since morning. moodless to do anything. Hungry, but im moodless to eat. hasnt eaten, hasnt done anything except bath. My hate my life now. ive nting left, no one there. Its sux. let today be the last day of sorrow. ill move on..

this is my life.

2008-12-12T02:28:00.007+08:00

Went town for dinner at pastamania with colin, bert, louis( PS kia), Lynal. After that went timbre for drink and pizza. The live band was cool and nice!

Long Island Tea!..Was quite strong.

Cheers to lynal.

Louis dead. lol!

Lynal, quite retard actually lol!

My life might seems to be happening, but there something missing. Something that i need and it isnt there. Im still trying my best to let go. Memories still flooding through my mind. Those memories were so real like its was reality still. They were so wonderful to me. Actually looking back i had Wonderful times with her around, wonderful times we spent out together. We joke, laugh at other people, studied together..... So many happiness. But there were frequent downs which we overcomed. Now this problem is what we could not overcome, we gave in. So all things changed. But im still glad i had those memories to keep my company when im lonely. Now its different, she might have other him to encourage her, joke with her, laugh with her. Hmm.. And I hope she could do her paper tomorrow with confidences. Its hurt to see her so sad over those papers that she done. I wish i could help, but theres noting i can do. Ive got no say to her anymore, she has got others to be beside her i guess. That guy will cheer her up i guess. But still may she be blessed to do well. I dont want her to be sad. It hurts me. I know i have to learn to let go sometimes. Its isnt easy as said. I still love her like how i do from the start. But im trying not to think about it. everything seems to have link to her. My life is so screwed up. But im learning to handle all this, its part or growing. I'll get over it soon.. All the best for her exams, i prayed.

getting over it. when you are gone

2008-12-11T04:04:00.007+08:00

First time someone opened a bottle whiskey for me to drink all i can. Such a kind soul. See how we enjoyed. Drink all you can, drive you troubles away, not your car people! Muhahaha.

This bottle cause $160.

A 12 year old macallan, whiskey

On the rock. with peanuts and chips and ikan bilis. there was bread too actually. LOL!

Louis Messaging girl! Gotta!

Still messaging! Im jealous Louis!

Me and louis..

Cheers! dalbert and them all missing from the picture. Dalbert shy! lol

Hmm, still getting over her. im trying. Thanks for those who cared. I wont be able to contact her anymore. This might help a little as you all said.
Pei Jing and Hui Ying and Si tong(Da Jie Jie)thanks so much for your concern, ill be alright okay? promise. you guys too okay? Smile=) see im fine right! HAHA!
And Hui Ying Thanks for being there to cheer me up all the time, you rox.
Pei Jing message me next time if you looking for me bah, ill be hardly online i guess from now on. Parents went overseas, so i dont like being home alone.yup.take care too. ill cheer up!you too..^^

Si tong cheer up too! we are on the same boat. sad to say. but yea can overcome it! jia yous.
And Yi ting, work on friday okay? so maybe we could go town and go back together=)
hmm.. Ive started to exercise, someone told me it makes you tired and keep your mind out of thinking things, emo thing i mean..=) Had been cycling around. actually yup it help a little too=) But now bicycle had become a transport for me to go out near by. like west area to meet up with friends late at night. all this things would keep me busy i hope. but i still need someone special by my side. i hope time would bring that her to me one day. i Hate being lonely, I just need a girl to love. ^^ "when my world becomes ours."

it shouldnt be this way.

2008-12-10T17:19:00.002+08:00

things shouldnt be this way. i didnt mean it to be the way you think. but there arent any chances left. your actions tells it all. end the story with this date. its time to learn.

maybe i did it the wrong way, but at least i know.

2008-12-09T13:27:00.002+08:00

Hardly talk to her anymore. This seems like a torture, as lonely as one can be. Now theres no way back, ill just look ahead pretending those times we shared as a wonderful dream. i cant imagine how she is now. Is she hurt? or Is she happier? or this doesnt have any impact to her.
Its all happened last thursday. Where she got him so drive her home. I was sad, i kept quiet. You told me there nothing, just normal. I believed it. Friday night till sunday night, you didnt replied me. I was depress, i needed someone there, my wrist ligerment has worsen after CATS. I was all alone, i kept thinking alot about what is going to happened. I used to go bowling when im sad, down, helpless. But? i cant bowl for the time being. I need to rest for a long period, but milos coming, how? what if it tears? all this flooded my mind. Just one SMS from you would have calm me down. Sunday night i recieved your message, you told me you didnt have my number as you changed phone. I didnt argue, i was very tired of doing it to you all the time. I message you a few times Sat and Sunday, its obvious my numbers there right? you lied right into my face. nevermind, that morning i went online, saw you online. talked to you. Same NO REPLY.. Went to your blog, Saw all the tags and the time. You were there at your com. Read your entires, you took bike again. And you like it soo much. Have you ever thought of how i felt? at that moment, i pulled away. The only way for me to know if he and the bike is what you wanted over me, is to leave. I was hush of doing it. BUT True enough, you didnt do anything. I was hoping for some console, instead you even gave me attitude. maybe all along, i was the one that think too much. There wasnt me in your picture at all. you let me go just like that. Not even trying to do anything. Maybe you didnt know how much your actions could have done to me. Maybe i did it the wrong way, but at least i know im so worthless to you. i wish you good for the future. i thank her for teaching me stuffs and correcting my errors, i wont repeat it for the next girl ill fall for. Ive never lied to you, i love you still. but i see you happier without me..

i cant take it anymore

2008-12-07T15:38:00.003+08:00

You are doing it again and again, things never work out.. its never gets into you. i hate it. Dont care to explain, cause it never works, since long ago. Im sensitive or what ever you want to say. thats it. and what have you been doing, not a single reply.. im not waiting for it anymore. its has been a day. Not even a minute to tell me anything. Dont say you have no time, its just a lie.
Hmm went to spgg yesterday as i had nting to do. then went down town alone to look for some gifts. next visited yi ting who was working there. OMG yi ting! she works! haha so unbelievable right? her work area is so small la.. how did she survived, i would have bored to death.. Watched BOLT at the cathey at 1.45am. was quite boring but touching.. not really nice to watch actually.. very draggy and repeats the motion of some parts. rather boing.. and now im super bored thats why i came to blog.. where should i be going today? With my wrist ligerment injury, i cant really do anything much. its has worsen, i cant really use force on it, its hurt badly. I cannot stop bowling! its what i have been putting effort in. now, so depress and lonely. May i recover soon. no one knows, but im really scared. imagining things for the worst. Life is never fair..

aiyo

2008-12-05T21:29:00.002+08:00

Exams over.. i hope ill do well.. i did studied actually.. haha And i fail CATs(COMPUTER AIDED TRACKING SYSTEM) if im not wrong.. failed lange angle.. haha expected.. release today wasnt good..shall hope for hand pick! haha all the best to me.. hope to get into the squard next year start. Then can join lynal. nic, jonathan and more.. haha fun i guess! hope to improve more in bowling too.. injured my right wrist ligerment.. ouch.. haha reover soon i hope.. but if worsen then its game over for me.. resting in progress.. no bowling for now.. hmm exams over, play time.. hope to leave the country soon.. singapore is so stressful.. malaysia i hope tomorrow or the day after.. hehehe..
To the someone she herself knows, Im sorry.. i wasnt able the protect you.. sorry.. hope you cheer up and all the best for your exams.. take care=)^^

so wierd

2008-12-02T22:23:00.002+08:00

To me you seems to be that chain. when i drifted away, when i decided to go, you pulled me back as close as you could. When i was that close, almost stucked to you, you allowed the wind, the waters and the pressure to pull me apart from you. Almost thinking that i was all on my own, searching for a place to hang on, and never drifted so freely. Then again, the tension of you pulled me back.. Giving me somewhere, some direction to go.. then it continues. Will it come to a time where the chain breaks, getting us no where, and we are still at the point where we started?

ZZZ

2008-12-01T21:49:00.002+08:00

EXAMS stress.. have not been studying hard for it.. just started 1 days before the papers, hope everythings all right!.. arha hard actually.. life isnt any better, maybe just so little? aish.. just as lonely.. but ill keep my comments.. no complain ok! haha sian...

im depress with life..

2008-11-24T01:04:00.002+08:00

Just got home from drinking.. this was the first time i drank so much.. my lifes just sux.. finally i knew what stress is.. im trying my best to show her i care, and im worth it to exchange for her love.. but everytime its not working..there are two people other than lynal that group i really appreciated your care.. thanks to the two.. you both should know who it is.. because you two chat with me through the night.. made me feel so much better.. im glad you all were there..
For the one that i love, i have to say im still in love, but ive been hurt.. went to buy jelly beans, chocolate, hoping we could meet.. although i knew its not possible but i still didnt go home yet.. till you say the word "not going"..My heart sank not because you cant go, its you didnt tell mi you went home, letting me stay out finding places to wait for you. Still remember how we met, remember how i got your number, your MSN. the feeling of getting to know you.. We started of talking in msn. Few days later, you got angry with me. you ignored me for two days..i tried to apologize, do what ever i could than soon after you gave in..days later we started messaging each other.. was so pleasent.. then one night you agreed to accompany me to study. Still remember we shared that piece of cheesecake. Remember that bite you gave me on my left hand? I hope it had never disappeared, it reminds me of you everytime i saw the mark, that was left behind. I didnt really studied, my eyes was mostly on you.. you were just so attractive to me.. send you home before getting home..its was the first time we met where you melt my heart, made me promise to have you close to me. Not sharing with anyone else. Till now i always remember that day, when i felt deeply in love with you..

Birthday picture

2008-11-22T23:54:00.014+08:00

Birthday

2008-11-20T23:44:00.002+08:00

Went to school late, knew something bad gonna happen in school.. during the break classmates opened up the cake sang birthday song, made my wish blew and cut the cake. Soon got the cake all on my face.. part of shirt too.. took so long to clean up.. i hate being DIRTY.. the feeling eeeee.. but REALLY REALLY you people ROX! I love You all! We all had fun Right?! jia wei came to give me her present, im very touched.. Thanks everyone..

met lynal and gang for dinner at marina square. had kenny rogers.. thats about it.. he sent me home.. thanks lynal..

Im disappointed what i wanted, nv came through.. NEVER! aia drop out of Masters.. nvm, wanted this bag badly, very badly.. went back it was gone.. NVM! the worst disappointment was from you.. WHere were you.. did you even know how much i wanted you for my birthday.. you are busy, i offer to wait for you, accompany you have you by my side even for that short moment, im contented.. YET? Im tired.. No one knows how much i teared over you.. not even you. I keep all in within myself.. attitude by you so often, yet i took all the blame within myself, because i promised not to attitude you.. but LOoK now! I cant.. NOoo more.. im tired, sick of it.. wheres your love? How much have you teared over me? none? how many times were you really sorry for what you did? how Did you took me for granted? Do you know how close were you with other guy? seriously im too disappointed to even talk to you now.. i Just need a simple girl, SWEET and loving.. close with me and enjoy every moment with me.. Some who will pamper me too.. im tired to pampering you all the time.. WHAT DO YOU STILL WANT FROM ME?

nting

2008-11-02T21:34:00.000+08:00

bowl today at Singapore swimming club. wooden lanes so fun.. approach so slippery.. but was fun.. enjoyed. my only aim is bowling and studies now..? hmm nting much to say about today cuz its emo day..haha..

bored

2008-10-26T18:31:00.003+08:00

I felt so lonely.. feeling of her seems so far away..i dunno what i could do, just hopeless awaits. Theres nting better then u beside mi, but its all my dream. I hoped it was all reality, where you always think of mi..For the love we had, the effort i put in, so would u now care for mi?

sad..

2008-10-25T19:30:00.004+08:00

aiyo.. didnt make it for the PBC youth for the AIA championship.. miss by so a bit. thx to my wonderful 130 game..which is just after a 230 game! omg.. ill train harder lol.. hmm boring day..
.. i promise to wait for u..and promise mi u wont let go of mi..

POL-ITE

2008-10-18T23:49:00.003+08:00

YAHOO OOO!.. Day of hardwork and trainings paid off.. In doubles, wei xiang and me got champion with him=210 average and mi=199.3 average where team average of almost 205.. We did well! cool! then next medal came right after the first event, doubles, which was team event. We got 3rd.. team of 4= zul, louis, mi and wei xiang.. hmm nting better then those days of worries.. =).. hmm but theres something i left out.. i was too concentrated into the team that i was busy to care for her.. she talked to mi a few times, but i kinda didnt really console her as i had alot things to do at the alley... interviews and collection of prizes and etc.. so sorry!! forgive mi.. cheer ups kies jasmine..

Empty

2008-10-11T23:42:00.001+08:00

i dun lyk anyone and im not going to care anymore... this sux totally.. its just so impossible to love a girl that dun want to feel loved..

im just sad?

2008-10-10T23:10:00.002+08:00

Sometimes its just so hard to love u.. All i need from u is ..., but its just so impossible.. im willing to sacrify just to meet her and keep her happy.. but is she willing too?

to someone i want to say to..

Don't take too long to say

"I love you" to the ones you love,

cause time has a habit of slipping away.

Out on a clear blue sky,

when lighting strikes on a sunny day,

just take me in and keep me from the rain,

And the words that seem so hard to say,

come out when you've gone away,

stay a little while and hear me say,

That I want you here tonight,

and I need you by my side,

for just one more moment,

with you

Turn around to say goodbye,

with each and every word that passes by,

like a distant memory,

and time keeps slipping away,

and time will turn to grey,

and time will be the one who holds you down,

And the words that seem so hard to say,

come out when you've gone away,

stay a little while and hear me say,

That I want you here tonight,

and I need you by my side,

for just one more moment,

And I want you by my side,

and I need you here tonight,

for just one more moment,

with you

Sometimes time will treat you bad,

Before you even know what's wrong,

and in the end it hits you hard,

please tell me you'll be strong.

A day out..

2008-10-08T23:28:00.002+08:00

Training in the morning.. met uncle adam for breakfast his late actually.. haha then training.. after that went elisha hm to take the team shirt.. the expensive one nike 1 that we spent alot on..ya thats the 1.. haha.. was suppose to meet jasmine but she sleep until so late i wait and wait till i give up.. then went to spgg to bowl with house shoe..so fun.. then dinner i thought of jia wei suddenly.. so ask her out but she say she eating hm but is able to go out after that.. so meet her.. so whao!! she got time! sry other guys maybe i cut que this time lol.. hor jia wei.. =X i was looking for bags so she accompanied mi to look for bags.. walk arn north point! its SMALL! nting! boring.. failure! lol.. then went hm leh.. tomorrow still need to go town to put on bracles.. so .... lazy leh.. but ai mei? no chioce ma.. lol.. anyone can accompany mi there? lol todays quite happy for derrick actually!

its nt the same anymore, its nt u..

2008-10-07T01:20:00.002+08:00

Hmm she talked to mi finally this morning.. Kinda shock but super glad.. Cuz we finally talked and chatted? hmm yup.. but i still feel theres something missing, somethings thats no longer there.. its gone.. Maybe now we are just normal friends.. and thats what she onli wants it to be.. we arent that close anymore where everything and anything could be just our topic and chatted so freely.. now its seems so diff now..she does seems to be interested in chatting and replying mi anymore.. maybe thats just what we should be bah.. might be better?.. i dun know.. but just very sad that i did a mistake that changed the whole story from what it suppose to be.. Now so far we are.. But really thanks to jia wei for her support. she cared to talk to mi... once im alone doing nting, ill start tinking of things and kinda get very very emo.. but that nice girl talked with mi and prevented mi from thinking from all the emotional things.. yup how i wished she could nt go to bed.. without her support i believe i might just............
Another thing is that mi, jia wei, shi ying, shaik and willis are joining the sma amazing race! We formed so last min.. haha but jia yous.. its was jia wei idea to join this event.. so she must led us hor..HAHA! hmm just hope we could enjoy this coming sat together..=)

So close to reaching that famous happy end, Almost believing this was not pretend, And now you’re beside me, And look how far we’ve comeSo far we are so close.

a promise..

2008-10-05T02:19:00.002+08:00

hmm.. today, 5 oct.. i promised to treat her better.. she taught mi some facts that ive to change.. and i hope to do the same to everyone else from now on.. no matter how bad my tone was she nv took it to serious.. so its time i do my part.. i realised i wasnt take nice afterall after she tok to mi told mi things.. yup i realised its somehow, some where my problem ever since i quarrel with jasmine.. and thx to jia wei for cheering mi up and understanding me.. and telling mi my errors i did so far.. so great of her.. shes a girl with no temper.. shes nv angry.. that makes her that great of as a friend.. And SHES SINGLE.. aww guys u all blind!.. faster...=X secondly, i would say a BIG SORRY to jasmine.. i dun tink she even care, but i still must say it.. yup.. will keep all happy moments that we laugh, smile and insulted others... all are history, in memories now... unless she decided to talk to mi again.. Hmm another thing in my mind is none other then bowling.. polite is just so near. so is my eng o lvls. in the pass few months there is someone there to encourage me to bowl well.. asking me to jia yous.. ill nv forget it.. but now shes gone.. i hope there wont be any distractions.. everytime i bowl ill think of this her. now the encoragement has turn into disappointment and hopelessness.. for my team, i will and must not let this affect my results.. polite is as important too.. i need to do my part as a team member.. so pardon mi guys if i really bowl bad this few days but its a promise i wont let it happen on polite day.. for SP! jia yous ppl!.. 18 oct, dare to win... =)

my best day..

2008-10-04T01:43:00.000+08:00

fuk up day.. thats all about yesterday..

impressive day of bowling!

2008-09-25T00:17:00.002+08:00

SPGG leauge.. top guns on the 24 sept, record breaking.. lol.. team series of 935 and overall series of 2397.. my 3 games series is my record now! zz 740!! i cant believe it.. i can actually bowl?! omg emotions aside, we just cant stop striking... thats the best team event i bowled i tink!! hoping for more to come!! whee you weet!!..

letting go of it

2008-09-23T17:04:00.002+08:00

hmm ive realised it.. and i tink its time i put emotions and rs a side.. what comes will come.. no use tinking of it.. who ever is meant for mi/ im meant for her will be together i believe.. so im moving on.. not gonna hang on the her anymore.. bowling my life..

i want to change!

2008-09-20T02:45:00.004+08:00

Haha.. my Aim: change my computer( desktop) self built... then a 32 inch tv, then Wii.. haha.. im so going to get it asap.. lol hmm ok.. that dreaming actually.. haha shes hasnt replied my till now(10.30pm)..sad in tears..=*(..