Tuesday, 9 December 2008
Hardly talk to her anymore. This seems like a torture, as lonely as one can be. Now theres no way back, ill just look ahead pretending those times we shared as a wonderful dream. i cant imagine how she is now. Is she hurt? or Is she happier? or this doesnt have any impact to her.
Its all happened last thursday. Where she got him so drive her home. I was sad, i kept quiet. You told me there nothing, just normal. I believed it. Friday night till sunday night, you didnt replied me. I was depress, i needed someone there, my wrist ligerment has worsen after CATS. I was all alone, i kept thinking alot about what is going to happened. I used to go bowling when im sad, down, helpless. But? i cant bowl for the time being. I need to rest for a long period, but milos coming, how? what if it tears? all this flooded my mind. Just one SMS from you would have calm me down. Sunday night i recieved your message, you told me you didnt have my number as you changed phone. I didnt argue, i was very tired of doing it to you all the time. I message you a few times Sat and Sunday, its obvious my numbers there right? you lied right into my face. nevermind, that morning i went online, saw you online. talked to you. Same NO REPLY.. Went to your blog, Saw all the tags and the time. You were there at your com. Read your entires, you took bike again. And you like it soo much. Have you ever thought of how i felt? at that moment, i pulled away. The only way for me to know if he and the bike is what you wanted over me, is to leave. I was hush of doing it. BUT True enough, you didnt do anything. I was hoping for some console, instead you even gave me attitude. maybe all along, i was the one that think too much. There wasnt me in your picture at all. you let me go just like that. Not even trying to do anything. Maybe you didnt know how much your actions could have done to me. Maybe i did it the wrong way, but at least i know im so worthless to you. i wish you good for the future. i thank her for teaching me stuffs and correcting my errors, i wont repeat it for the next girl ill fall for. Ive never lied to you, i love you still. but i see you happier without me..
- 13:27;
